


Finding heaven in hell

by AlwaysSeverus



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-28
Updated: 2018-01-29
Packaged: 2019-03-10 19:15:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13508040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlwaysSeverus/pseuds/AlwaysSeverus
Summary: It's the night of Dumbledore's death and Severus Snape is standing in his classroom, staring out of the window. What will happen when a certain know-it-all finds him? Told in two different PoV. R&R please





	1. Hermione's PoV

**Author's Note:**

> AN: Hello everyone. This is a repost since I saw that there were some mistakes that eascped my attention.
> 
> I came across a photo of Snape in one of the deleted scenes of Half Blood Prince (you know, the one where he's standing in front of a window) and I thought: what if Hermione found him? What would she had said to him?
> 
> So this how the scene would have been! ;)
> 
> The story is a one shot, but there will be two chapters because I want to focus on both their point of view. 
> 
> I think I've said everything soooo, word to Hermione!

**Hermione PoV**

 

Hermione Granger, Gryffindor Prefect, had fallen asleep in the library. She couldn’t believe it herself, but with everything that was taking place at the school she didn’t sleep well anymore. She was planning on waiting for Harry’s return from his mission with the Headmaster and to do that she had decided to do something useful and do some research. But it seemed that fate didn’t agree with her. So, now she had to return to Gryffindor tower without being seen, since it was already past curfew.

‘Oh my, I’ll never be able to make it,’ she thought, as she pushed her books in the bag and started to leave.

She was walking as quietly as possible and the silence around her proved to be source of musings.

‘Things are changing so much. Nothing is as before anymore. Something is definitely coming,’ she thought as she stopped in front of a window. The sky outside was completely black and full of clouds, but there was a strange light coming in. It was somewhat eerie.

“Even the teachers are worried, it’s pretty evident,” she said to herself as she watched professor McGonagall stare at the sky from her chambers. ‘The Headmaster is clearly sure something is about to happen since he has taken Harry on a mission and Professor Snape…’

Well, Professor Snape was clearly the same sarcastic, bitter and cruel man. Nothing in that matter had changed, he still favoured Slytherins and hated Harry and his friends as always. But there was something in him that cried “help me!”. Obviously, he would never admit it, but Hermione had noticed that there were more lines in his face; lines that came from sleepless nights and tiresome days. There were dark rings around his eyes and the light that was there now and then, was no more.

‘Light? What are you saying, Hermione?’ she admonished herself. ‘There’s no light in Snape’s eyes.’

‘Oh, no light, you say?’ said a voice in her head. ‘That’s not what you were thinking while you were asleep.’

“It was just a dream, nothing important,” she said aloud, leaving the place in front of the window.

Nothing important. That’s what she’s been repeating to convince herself.

It all started three months ago when she had run into him. He had been incredibly angry. He had removed twenty points from her for “not being able to look where you are going, Miss Granger”. But as he steadied her she had felt his sinewy chest under her hands. She had been noticing him more since that day.

Ok, so maybe she had a crush on the man.

‘Well, now that I’ve admitted it I can just as well enjoy myself,’ she thought as she let her mind wander to her dream.

 

_Hermione was studying in the library when she realized that the information she was looking for was not in the books that she had taken._

_“It will take me a lifetime to do this project,” she whined as she stood and went to the bookshelf where she knew she’d find what she was looking for. However, it seemed that someone else was already there. Professor Snape was standing between the two lines of shelves of the library. One of his hands was caressing the binding of the books while the other was stroking his lips, as if in thoughts._

_Hermione wondered how those hands would feel on her body, caressing her. And those lips…_

_“Miss Granger,” said Snape, as he turned towards her. “Is there something you need?”_

_The girl jumped out of her thoughts and realized she had been staring at her professor._

_“Ehm, no… I mean, yes. I need a… book,” she replied nervously, moving towards the point where the book was. There was just a problem: that place was exactly between Snape and the bookshelf._

_As she stepped forward, she brushed against him and a shiver run through her body. She felt him tense behind her, but, strangely enough, he did not move._

_As she turned around, the book in her hands, she noticed that she was standing right in front of her professor and that he had taken some steps towards her. His eyes were fixed on her face and she could physically sense the intensity of his look._

_Hermione moved forward, never taking her eyes from him. They stared at each other for some time and then, they were kissing._

_One of Snape’s arms went around her waist, the other was on the shelf behind her, trapping her between himself and the books. Hermione freed one of her hands and tangled it into his hair, deepening the kiss. Some minutes later (or was it hours? She had lost track of time) she felt the hand on her waist leave and move towards the book that she was still holding. Happy that she could now touch him more freely, she let it go, winding her arm around his neck._

_“Thanks for the book, Hermione,” he whispered against her lips, leaving her breathless against the bookshelf._

As she walked in front of the Defence Classroom she noticed that the door was open, and she decided to peer into it. And there, standing in front of a window on the other side of the classroom, was none other than the object of her thoughts and dreams. Professor Snape hands were clasped in fists behind his back and his shoulders were bowed, as if the weight of the whole world rested on him.

Hermione was enthralled. Seeing him like this only confirmed her fears and all she wanted to do was to run up to him and hug him. To whisper in his ear that he was not alone and that she trusted him. But of course, he would reject and belittle her were she to follow her thoughts. Shaking her head sadly she tried to tiptoe in front of the door without giving herself away. Her back towards the door, she didn’t see his shoulders tense, as if sensing he was not alone anymore.

“Shouldn’t you be in bed, Miss Granger?” she heard him whisper quietly, but in the silence of the castle he could have as well shouted it.

Hermione turned around and saw that he hadn’t moved from his spot.

‘How did he know it was me?’ she wondered, entering the classroom, fearfully.

“Hem… yes, I fell asleep in the library waiting for Harry… I was heading back to the Tower, I swear… it won’t happen again, Professor...” she babbled nervously.

“Nevertheless…” he said, turning around and staring at her for a full minute. “It is well past curfew and if I’m not wrong it’s not your patrol duties, so you shouldn’t be strolling around the castle.”

“I wasn’t strolling, Professor. Really, I was just heading back to the Tower…”

“You’ve already said that, Miss Granger. I heard it the first time,” he snapped, turning his back on her and looking at the sky outside.

The young girl stared at him again. She couldn’t help it, really. He was acting very strangely tonight. Yes, he had been somewhat snarky, but he didn’t say anything really unpleasant. And, furthermore, he hadn’t taken points from her and neither given her detention yet. She wondered what was wrong, what was troubling him. His large shoulders were, once again, hunched forward and all she wanted to do was run her hands along his back to soothe him.

“Anyone else would have left by now, Miss Granger,” he said, interrupting her musings.

“I am not anyone else,” she replied taking the last steps that were separating them. Shoulder to shoulder they looked at the clouds that were becoming denser.

“It’s coming, isn’t it?” she said, looking at his profile. She had never been so near her Professor and she decided she was going to take advantage of this new situation. She saw that at her question his jaw tightened, and his chest filled with a deep breath.

“I was right to call you an insufferable know-it-all,” he replied sighing, but without a hint of venom in his voice and Hermione didn’t feel at all offended. She smiled lightly, never taking her eyes from his face.

“I’ll have to agree with you, Professor. I’ve been quite insufferable.”

The Potions Master snorted, turning his head toward the young woman.

‘Is that a hint of a smile?’ she thought, looking as the corner of his lips moved slightly. She couldn’t help herself and she extended a hand towards his face to have a physical proof of this strange, and yet desired, situation. He was looking at her as if she was some strange creature, but he didn’t move an inch.

A thunder startled them, turning their attention back to the black sky.

“You should go back to your dormitory, Miss Granger,” whispered Snape.

“Yes, sir,” she replied, knowing that the moment and her chance were both gone. But she wanted him to know that he wasn’t alone, the she trusted him and, so, she did the first thing that came to her mind. Standing on her tiptoes she leaned towards him, ready to leave a quick kiss on his cheek and then leave as fast as possible before he got angry. She was almost there, when he suddenly turned towards her, and her lips landed on his cold ones before she could help it. She could see his eyes widen in shock and in what she thought was anger.

“I’m so sorry, sir… I didn’t mean to… well…” she stammered as she tried to leave the room before he reacted. However, she was not so lucky because as soon as she reached the first line of desks he was upon her, catching her left arm in his hand and preventing her from fleeting.

“What was that?” he snarled.

“Sir, I’m really sorry. I swear, I just… I just wanted to give you a kiss on the cheek and then you turned and…” she babbled, not able to look at him.

“Look at me, girl!” he cried. “Why would you want to kiss me?”

Hermione Granger had never seen her Professor so out of his element. He was so angry that his pale face had become red and his eyes were so alive that she thought that if she left with a detention she would be lucky.

‘Well, if I’m going to get a detention either way, I can as well be honest and tell him everything,’ she decided, raising her head and staring into his face.

“Because I care for you, sir. I have for a while. I think about you constantly and I find myself entranced with your wit and your intelligence. I’ve been watching you for months. Really watching. And you’ve changed so much. You look as if you are carrying the weight of the whole world and I wanted you to know that you’re not alone in this. I trust you.”

She never took her eyes from him as she delivered her speech and she saw so many emotions on his face: anger, confusion, sadness and despair. Something must have clicked in him because, before she knew what was happening, she was in his arms and he was kissing her with an intensity that would have made her melt into the floor had he not been crushing her against his chest.

Hermione Granger prided herself to be a person of intellect, one that always thought before acting, but in that moment, with Severus’ arms around her, she ignored her brain for once and decided to make the most of this moment with this broken, and yet wonderful, man.

The young woman felt him move the hand on her arm to her back, so she moved hers on his chest and towards his neck, where she clasped them behind his head, preventing him from moving away from her.

As the back of her legs hit a desk she felt his tongue beg for entrance and she obliged him by meeting it with hers.

‘Merlin, this is heaven,’ she thought as he bent a little to help her sit on the desk.

They continued to snog (there really wasn’t another word for it) for some time. How much, she didn’t know. It felt like hours, to be honest, but it may have been days for all she cared. She just wanted to continue to feel him against her, his lips on hers and his arms around her.

However, nature was against her and it seemed that they were both in need of oxygen.

‘Oxygen? What is it? I just need him to kiss me,’ she thought, as they parted.

They were both panting heavily, and he rested his forehead on hers, never opening his eyes.

“You really should be going back to your tower, girl. It’s not safe to be around, trust me,” he whispered, raising his head and looking at her as if to judge her reaction.

Hermione understood that he was just looking after her welfare and, furthermore, Harry must have been back by now. She wanted to know how his mission had gone. So, she nodded slowly, realising that her hands were still caressing the nape of his neck.

 “I do trust you,” she said, giving him one last kiss and hopping down from the desk.

She picked up her bag from the floor (‘How the hell did it get there?’) and headed for the door. Once there, she couldn’t help but turn back. Severus was still there, looking at her as if he was feeling happy, guilty, sad and relieved at the same time. She smiled at him, hoping to make him understand that she didn’t regret anything, and the she left skipping back to the Gryffindor Tower.

She didn’t know that the man that had been kissing her would be killing the Headmaster in a matter of minutes and that this was really the last time that she saw him, before his death.


	2. Severus' PoV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: This is Severus' PoV. I hope it's to your liking.  
> I've been writing a kind of sequel to this story. It's nearly finished so I'm going to soon post the first chapters, while I control the others.  
> Let me know what you think about this chapter!

**Severus PoV**

 

He was in hell. There was no other explanation. Having to kill one’s mentor and only friend couldn’t be described differently. And he knew it was coming, it was a matter of hours, of minutes. Bellatrix had been jumping with joy at the meeting they held yesterday and Greyback hadn’t stopped grinning since.

He shuddered. He couldn’t do it, he was not strong enough to survive this.

‘Maybe if I jump?’ he thought, looking at the ground below.

Well, everything would be over, and he wouldn’t have to become a murderer, but what of everything? What of the years spent spying, trying to protect HER son? It would all have been in vain if he killed himself, and he did want Voldemort dead. Oh, yes, definitely. Even if that meant protecting Potter.

He sneered. As if the boy had a change to survive by himself. If not for the Granger girl, he and his ginger friend would already be dead.

‘Granger? Don’t you mean Hermione?’ said a voice in his head. ‘That’s what you’ve been calling her in here.’

‘Shut up!’

‘Did I touch a sensitive nerve? Admit that you’ve grown quite fond of the girl.’

‘I won’t do such a thing.’

Fantastic, he was arguing with himself now.

‘Now? If I’m not wrong you’ve been denying this since the beginning of the school year,’ continued the voice.

He grunted. So maybe he had noticed that she had grown. Who hadn’t?

‘Well, McLaggen certainly have.’

McLaggen. A strange feeling grew in his chest at his name. What did she find in him? He was just one of those muscled boys with no brain. She deserved an intelligent partner, someone with whom she could argue about academics, someone that would make her feel like she was the only woman in the world, someone…

‘…like you?’

Silence stretched around him for long minutes. What was the point in denying it anymore? She was going to hate him either way after tonight. His shoulders hunched forward.

He cared for her. He had been thinking about her non-stop since the beginning of this year and seeing her around with that boy had stirred feelings in him that he didn’t know he had anymore. He was jealous. Oh, yes. He wanted to be the one to talk with her, to hold her when she was feeling sad, to dance with her at balls, to kiss her when she needed love.

Love? Surely not. It was too soon to call anything love, was it?

He admired her. She was brilliant and belittling her this year had been harder than ever. She was still insufferable, she wouldn’t be herself if she wasn’t, but it seemed that he had learned to be more patient. At least, with her.

‘You know, maybe you don’t want to admit that you love her, but you can’t say you don’t desire her. It’s been pretty evident every night,’ whispered his brain, that seemed to be particularly against him tonight.

Wonderful, he felt like a lecherous bastard even without his brain remembering him of the various dreams he had. But now, the image that had been plaguing him the entire day, was on the front of his mind.

 

_She had stayed behind after class. Something to do with their essay, she told her friends. As the door closed she took the steps towards the podium where he sat behind his desk. Severus was writing furiously on a parchment, trying to distract himself from the delicious jasmine perfume she emanated._

_“Professor Snape?” she asked nervously, looking at his bent head._

_“Do you need something, Miss Granger?”_

_“I… well… I’m having some problems with non-verbal spells and I was wondering if… if you could help me.”_

_The Professor raised his head, meeting her brown eyes. Having made his decision, he stood up and rounded the desk._

_“I believe you should put down your bag and get out your wand, Miss Granger,” he said, waving his wand to move the desks against the walls and conjure a mannequin._

_“Oh, now?” she asked, bewildered that he had accepted._

_Severus simply raised his eyebrow as the young woman got her wand._

_“Now, Miss Granger, keep your eyes on the target,” he began, circling her until she couldn’t see him anymore. “Think the spell, don’t say it, just think it. But you have to mean it.”_

_The Professor could see that she was too tense to perform, so he reached his hand around her and grabbed her wand hand with his own._

_“You have to imagine the magic flowing through you. There’s no need to say it out loud, your magic knows what you want, you just have to accept it, too,” he whispered in her ear._

_Hermione fired the spell without speaking, turned around and looked at him in the eyes._

_“I know what I want. You.”_

_And they were kissing. Desperately. One of Severus’ hands was in her hair, keeping her near him, while the other was caressing her back. He could feel her arms around his neck and…_

Snape came back from the dream and tensed. Someone was watching him, he could feel it. A gust of wind from the corridor entered the classroom and the perfume of jasmine that had been plaguing him, filled his senses.

“Shouldn’t you be in bed, Miss Granger?” he whispered in the silence of the castle.

He heard her fearful steps as she entered the classroom.

“Hem… yes, I fell asleep in the library waiting for Harry… I was heading back to the Tower, I swear… it won’t happen again, Professor...” she babbled nervously.

“Nevertheless…” he said, turning around and staring at her. She really looked like she had just woken up. ‘But that doesn’t make her any less beautiful,’ he thought. “It is well past curfew and if I’m not wrong it’s not your patrol duties, so you shouldn’t be strolling around the castle.”

“I wasn’t strolling, Professor. Really, I was just heading back to the Tower…”

“You’ve already said that, Miss Granger. I heard it the first time,” he snapped, turning his back on her and looking at the sky outside.

What was she doing around at this hour? And tonight, of all nights? It was not safe to be around, and she had to return to her Tower as soon as possible. However, he also wanted her to be there with him. One last time before she began hating him. This realization made his shoulders hunch forward. No one would believe him anymore, not even her.

“Anyone else would have left by now, Miss Granger,” he said, sensing her staring.

“I am not anyone else,” she replied taking the last steps that were separating them. Shoulder to shoulder they looked at the clouds that were becoming denser.

“It’s coming, isn’t it?” he heard her ask. The question did nothing to relax him. His jaw tightened and his lungs filled with a deep breath. He didn’t have the strength to be a bastard tonight.

“I was right to call you an insufferable know-it-all,” he replied sighing, but without a hint of venom in his voice, hoping that she would understand that he was not insulting her.

“I’ll have to agree with you, Professor. I’ve been quite insufferable.”

The Potions Master snorted, turning his head toward the young woman. He saw that she was smiling. Was it at him? Well, there was no one else in the room. It was such a sweet smile that his own lips moved a fraction to return it. Merlin, he really couldn’t remember the last time that he smiled.

He saw her hand move towards his face and he wondered what she was going to do. Part of him was shouting at him to leave, that this was completely wrong, the other part wanted to stay in order to understand this beautiful and strange creature before him.

A thunder startled them, turning their attention back to the black sky.

“You should go back to your dormitory, Miss Granger,” whispered Snape.

“Yes, sir,” he heard her reply. Severus could feel her staring at him, again. She had been doing that a lot tonight.

Then he felt her move and, thinking she was leaving, he turned his head towards her. He didn’t expect to feel her soft lips against his. Such a quick kiss and yet, his own lips were left tingling and Severus had to resist the urge to raise his hand to his mouth.

‘What is she playing at?’ he wondered. ‘Kissing a Professor? Kissing me?’

He heard her mumbling something, trying to leave the room.

“I’m so sorry, sir… I didn’t mean to… well…”

Coming out of his stupor he reacted, moving quickly towards her and catching her before she reached the first line of desks.

“What was that?” he snarled, thinking that she was playing with him. Why else would someone try to give him comfort, let alone kiss him?

“Sir, I’m really sorry. I swear, I just… I just wanted to give you a kiss on the cheek and then you turned and…” she stammered. She wasn’t even looking at him.

‘That’s because she knows that if she does you’ll find out she’s been making fun of you,’ he convinced himself.

“Look at me, girl!” he cried. “Why would you want to kiss me?”

He was so angry. Here he was, not giving her detention and she repaid him by laughing at him? Hermione raised her head, trying to stare him out and he saw so much determination in her eyes.

“Because I care for you, sir. I have for a while.”

What? She could have said anything. He was ready to hear that it was a prank set up by Potter and Weasley, that it was revenge against the way he had been treating her, anything really. But not THAT.

She cared for him? How long had it been since someone had told him so? He couldn’t remember. Maybe Lily. He didn’t even think she was lying. She wasn’t able to and the look on her face showed that she was really saying the truth.

Wait, she had said something else. What was it? Something about thinking about him and looking at him.

“…I wanted you to know that you’re not alone in this. I trust you.”

Trust? Not only she cared for him, she trusted him too? It was really too much. In a few minutes he was going to break her trust and she was going to hate him like everyone else.

‘This is your last chance, Severus,’ said the voice in his head. ‘Give her something to think of. She said she had been thinking of you, she must have some kind of feelings.’

‘But this is wrong. She’s my student and it’s against the rules,’ he argued.

‘Rules? You’re going to kill the Headmaster in a few minutes and you’re afraid to kiss her?’ sneered his brain.

That was true. He was going to be a murderer. Maybe if he gave her something to believe in, she wouldn’t hate him. She would try to understand.

‘And I want this. If this is my only chance with her… hell, I’m going to take it,’ he decided, pulling the young woman in his arms and kissing her with all of himself. Trying to show her what he was feeling, all his passion and desperation.

She didn’t react at first, but when he moved his arms to her back he felt her small hands shyly moving on his chest and clasping firmly behind his head.

‘Merlin, I’m in heaven’ he thought, moving towards a desk and helping her to sit on it.

His brain was not functioning anymore, he could only think about kissing her and never stopping. He had never felt so alive. He didn’t want to leave this room, to leave her arms.

But they needed oxygen, so they had to part.

Severus rested his forehead on hers and kept his eyes closed, afraid that if he opened them, she would disappear or worse, he would see the disgust on her face. If he could he would stay there forever, her hands in his hairs trying to ease his tension. But she had to go back to Gryffindor Tower, now more than ever.

“You really should be going back to your tower, girl. It’s not safe to be around, trust me,” he whispered, raising his head and looking at her to judge her reaction.

He didn’t expect her to abate his fears by kissing him again and saying: “I do trust you.”

He saw her hop down from the desk and pick up her bag from the floor (‘How the hell did it get there?’). He stared at her back as she headed towards the door and there, she turned around, smiling at him. He understood what she wanted to say: she didn’t regret that night.

As the young witch left the room, Severus collapsed on the floor.

He loved her.

Merlin, he loved her, and she was going to hate him. Funny how story repeated itself.

In that moment, just a few minutes before the Headmaster’s murder, Severus Snape promised to himself that if he ever survived the war, he was going to tell her everything because that was what she deserved. Everything.

He was going to treasure this night for the rest of his life because, somehow, he had been able to find a glimmer of heaven in the hell that was his life.


End file.
